Thong of Thongs
- 10 months ago
- 2 min read
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The theory of Communism may be summed up in one sentence: Abolish all private property.
— Karl Marx
Karl and his buddies, Friedrich, Heinrich, and Max were in their final year of college. The four didn’t believe in private property and wanted to make a big display for the campus to better understand and accept their standpoint. They decided it was high time they redistribute the wealth, and what was more valuable than panties?
One night in early autumn they snuck into the women’s dorm. Heinrich used his poetic tongue to distract the ladies in the common room. Meanwhile, the other three rushed from room to room, emptying dressers of their precious undergarments and stuffing them into their backpacks.
The plan was going well as they moved from one floor to the next, until a girl returning from the shower, wearing only a towel, caught them digging through her laundry bin. She screamed at the top of her lungs and someone called for public safety.
Public safety officers swarmed into the building. The only direction for the boys to go was up. Friedrich, Heinrich, and Max gave their bags to Karl.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Making a sacrifice in order to complete our plan of social change,” Friedrich said. “We’ll hold them back. You can take all the credit.”
Karl sprinted up to the roof and did his best to barricade the door. The officers were closing in. Karl opened the bag and removed a fist full of panties. He held them to his face and breathed in deep. Success smelled sweet. He threw the handful into the air and then shook the bag out, unloading the rest of the goods over the ledge. The wind caught the panties and spread them far and wide, and come morning there wasn’t a single comrade who didn’t share in the wealth.
Thong of Thongs, and 68 more flash fiction stories, is from "Thong of Thongs: 69 Sexy Jewish Stories" by Kitty Knish, available at Amazon, Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and Smashwords.
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Thong of Thongs blurb:
Thong of Thongs is the lovely Kitty Knish's debut collection of 69 sexy Jewish stories, showcasing Jewish humor at its finest. Equal parts kosher and dirty, romantic and raunchy fun.
Adam, Eve and the trouser snake; streaking at a kibbutz; Freud’s introduction to submission; these are only a few of the hilariously scandalous tales found inside. Laugh your tuckus off as the Chosen People enjoy their bondage with a side of bagels and lox.
*WARNING*: While there is something in this collection for everyone, not every story is for everyone, so please approach this book with an open mind before you unzip your pants. No kvetching here, you’ve been warned!